U know what... The beauty of human nature is that it is
really unpredictable. When i started this blog way back 2 years I thought that
this will me my diary, a book written by me and addition of new lines everyday
may turn this to be my good friend. Now after two years I am thinking why was I
thinking that way, May be lack of friends, lack of good time, lack of
adventure? what...? Its not necessary that I was in a bad mood that day when i
started blogging, I might be happy and satisfied, might be missing someone,
might have found my love, might have fallen for someone, i don't know what
motivated me to start this blogging kind of thing, BUT... I know myself. I am
sure that during that time I would had have some question in my
heart… Definitely some questions…
What now... Questions reborn ? Yaa may be… But this time the
core meaning of question and the depth of doubts would be far far vast than my
previous time frame.
If God comes and asks me what exactly I want from life right
now, I might cry and will fail to answer what I exactly want from life at this
point even though I know HE can help me.
Is this a kind of dyslexia or some fear, fear of loosing? Fear
of underachievement, fear of failure? I don’t know, I really don’t know… My
life seems so tangled right now that I feel like it’s not going to simplify ever.
I know the rules, the formula, but don’t know the implementation…
Now my question for myself is… have I made my life complicated
myself…? Do I really deserve to be here at this time? Yaar the only thing which
is a black spot in life is my studies,my education history. Would that remain an
issue forever..?
